18psi is good place to start but in really soft sand I'm guessing you could go lower if needed.
With the ESP, if you just push the button it reduces the intrusiveness of the ESP. This is what is sounds like you did if the light was still flashing. You need to hold for 7 seconds to switch it off completely. That's in 2Hi or 4Hi. ESP is switched off automatically when you use 4Lo.
I'd give it a go leaving the transmission in 2 if you're in 4Hi and that should help. Probably leave it in D if you're in 4Lo as 2nd won't give you much speed at all and I think the torque converter locks up a lot quicker (if not all the time) in 4Lo anyway.
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